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How the Lack of Awareness of My Emotional and Mental Health Almost Cost Me My Life

Updated: Jul 14, 2021

When I began this journey of emotional healing I had no idea what an immense effect it would have on my mental health and my life as a whole.

Hi, I’m Carolina, a Holistic Therapist and the heart, soul and founder of Heartstream Wellness in the beautiful Richmond Hills of Nelson, New Zealand. I have a thriving practice where I have the honour to help others struggling with stress, anxiety, traumas, addictions etc. to permanently overcome their issues so they can have a truly fulfilling life. I would genuinely say I have a wonderful and meaningful life.

Are you are thinking that this sounds all too good to be true? I get it, if someone had told me this 20 years ago I would have thought exactly the same way. In reading my story perhaps it will inspire you in some way to overcome issues that may be preventing you too from living a truly fulfilling life.

The Effects of Living a Material Lifestyle

At that time it appeared I had a life many would envy, a successful legal career, I was a partner in a law firm, married to a loyal husband, a beautiful healthy young daughter, a lovely home with no debt and the finances to buy whatever we needed.

Despite all this, I was suffering a huge amount of stress, anxiety, depression and low self-worth. I was trying to be perfect in all the ways that I could be but felt I was failing.

At my core, I felt lost and unfulfilled as though something was deeply missing.

Serious Illness - the body's way of telling us that change is needed

My health was suffering too, in fact, I was seriously ill and I didn’t even realise how seriously until it was almost too late. I was overweight, developed excessive tiredness, and was constantly catching every flu bug that came my way. I was taking more and more time off work with days of not even being able to get out of bed.

Things came to a head when I was rushed into hospital with a resting heartbeat of 200 bpm! I was told by the cardiologist that my heart had doubled in size as a result of my 'foot being hard down on the accelerator' and if I had not been admitted that week I would have died.

As I sat in the hospital bed watching the monitors all around me going into alarm mode every time my heart rate went into the 'danger zone' I began to ask myself, why had I let it get to this? Why had I been ignoring my body and myself for so long?

When my husband brought our young daughter into the hospital room and I saw the look of fear and concern on her face, as she placed her hands on my cheeks, I knew that this wasn’t just about me but about my family too.

My lack of awareness of my mental, physical and emotional health had almost deprived my daughter of a mother. It was a horrifying thought.

Time for Change

I realised I had to make a decision to look at everything in my life that wasn’t working and make changes that would make a difference not only for myself but my family too.

The first thing that changed was the realisation that motherhood was the most important job I had and that my daughter needed me. I needed to embrace motherhood, instead of expecting someone else to do this for me. I decided to leave my career and profession and focus on myself and honour the parenting role I had chosen.

Financially there had to be huge sacrifices with only one income but we decided to cut back drastically on our spending and it was amazing how little we really needed. I felt such a relief handing in my notice and a huge weight of responsibility lifted from my shoulders.

I then focused on getting well. After seeing many doctors and health-care professionals nothing seemed to make much difference. I had been diagnosed with an autoimmune condition called Graves Disease and my autoimmune markers were still high.

I still felt stressed, anxious had difficulty breathing and even the smallest tasks took a huge effort.

I struggled with being a mum and often felt overwhelmed with just this. I didn’t want to take anti-anxiety medications or anti-depressants unless it was a last resort and I was determined to find another way.

I went to counselling which helped me identify some of the underlying issues many which stemmed from a traumatic childhood but despite understanding them nothing changed my physiological symptoms.

All disease and illness is a result of an imbalance in the body, mind and spirit.

I then turned to holistic practitioners and practices and at last something began to shift a little. I discovered that from a holistic standpoint that all disease or illness was a result of an imbalance in the body, mind and spirit. This was a revelation but also made so much sense.

I began studying yoga and simple meditation practices, took herbal medicines which all helped to some extent, but what made the most significant, rapid and profound effect on my healing was “energy psychology”, in particular, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Tapping) and subsequently Matrix Reimprinting (Inner Child Healing) and NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming).

When I began this journey of emotional healing I had no idea what an immense effect it would have on my mental health and my life as a whole. As I began to clear and release the imprints of my earlier traumas, my anxiety began to fall away.

With each session guided by experienced and gifted practitioners, the anxiety would lessen never to return and I began to experience a sense of peace that I could barely remember having felt before.

I have to admit I was cynical at first. My legal mind wanted tangible proof and didn’t believe it would last, however it did and my own experience became the evidence of its validity.

What was so fascinating was that as the old traumas and the old beliefs about myself fell away so did my weight without even trying. I went from a size 20 to a size 14 in a few months with making no real changes in my diet. However, by the time I had reached a size 14, I found I was no longer comfort eating and my relationship with food changed significantly.

I was learning to accept myself and my body and have a new sense of appreciation and even reverence for my mind and body. As I learnt tools to release the traumas of my past so did my body and mind respond.

I felt happier, more positive, my energy returned and my autoimmune markers came down the more EFT sessions I had. Looking back I realise that this was my journey of transformation.

I owe my life to EFT and other energetic processes and I cannot imagine where my life would be today without energy psychology and all it has given me and also my family. Life happens of course and there are always challenges that arise. Life is not perfect but with the tools I have learnt and teach others to use, I'm now in charge of my mental states. I can work through and transform those negative emotions as they arise. I'm now in the driving seat instead of being at the mercy of my emotions which has been so empowering.

The foundation of these techniques is based in Ancient Eastern knowledge of acupuncture and the meridian systems of the body which have been around for over 3000years. Whether this knowledge was gained and lost or never reached the West it is unclear but fortunately we are now reconnecting with this ancient wisdom and our western science is catching up to be able to explain how it works and why. It is an exciting time.

Helping You Heal and Transform

I look around me at the world as a whole and my fellow human beings suffering so greatly with physical, mental and emotional issues like never before, we are all so out of balance.

Whatever we are doing or not doing in allopathic medicine to treat chronic conditions, by just treating the symptoms of illness with drugs is not working. Much of this emotional and physical suffering is so unnecessary and stems from a lack of awareness, education, scepticism and fear of trying something new, something out of the box.

If there is anything that I can do at this time is to bring others the knowledge I have learnt, my experience and reassurance that true healing is not only possible but a simple reality.

If I can give advice to anyone who is stuck in their lives right now with health issues, whether, physical, mental or emotional is to make the decision to change and just start, one step at a time.

Wishing you all the very best of health and wellbeing.


This is the first in a series of posts in which I'll share with you how these practices work, the neuroscience behind stress, anxiety, addictions, trauma etc and the short and long term benefits of these tools not only for you but also for your family. I will share stories of others healing journeys with EFT, the Heartstream Process and Energy Psychology and how it has changed their lives too.

Carolina Kerridge,

LLB (Hons), Holistic Therapist, Cert. and Accredited EFT and Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner, Holistic Coach and Meditation Instructor at Heartstream Wellness. Richmond, Nelson, NZ.

I specialise in stress, anxiety, trauma, addictions and negative emotions. I choose to support those looking for true personal transformation.

My vision is to "heal and transform the planet one person at a time".

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1 commentaire

Cheryl Kane
17 juil. 2020

Thank you Carolina for sharing your story. Both your accomplishments and your vulnerability are inspiring. There’s a comfort and hope in knowing there is another way to heal.

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